A journey too far

Today promised to be the best day of the challenge. However it started out as a day from Hell. Leaving Shimoga at 7am was trying to stop a living nightmare. The visibility was poor due to the smog, there were no lights, and still vehicle, people and animals sped around in random directions as normal. No lights, no traffic control sytem, no power and oh let's let all the farmyard animals out as well! On leaving the city I felt that I may as well have carried on smoking for the last 10 years with all the fumes I've inhaled.
Anyway we were soon out into the beautiful countryside ready to face a 200k ride through rough India's roughest terraine! I have never seen roads like it. These tracks tested even the most experienced. By the end of the day they claimed 6 accidents and wrote off 3 bikes. It was too much if I'm honest and the paramedics and mechanics couldn't cope with all the incidents. With sickness and accidents we have lost 12 riders at various stages. Those of us who were able to, rode beyond 40k of off roading on Henrys, enjoying a botanical overdose, with an equal dose of lime green parrots and mischeivious monkeys.. Its just awesome countryside that you just want to get lost in.
All the locals still keep beaming their smiles at us as we sweep through their little villages. Their happiness is so contageous you can't help but smile inside your helmet all of the time.They even throw rice and flowers at us shouting "good jorrrnee!"
Lunch stop was at 4pm..... Delicious tomato crisps and green chutney twiglets washed down with warm coca cola... To die for!
On arriving at our destination after sitting on Harry for 11 hours I was told that I was in tent number 6!!!!
I was about to protest when I realised that 30 bikers are all on the floor in the function room. It looks like there's been a national disaster and all the locals are in the community centre.
So after another lentil curry I'm going to hit the floor and hope that the idiot who thinks he can sing Stairway to Heaven out side my tent gets eaten by a tiger pretty soon.
STILL no wine!
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200km to Shimoga

Today has been the most fulfilling so far. After a welcome 6 hour sleep and a new pair of trousers and boots ( kindly donated by an eccentric chap who failed his test last week and couldn't do the challenge ) I felt ready to face my machine and where she took me. Suffice to say, at last, man and machine have bonded. So much so, that it will now be Harry (Enfield) in future.
She started at the first kick all day and purred along like a dream. I have to say I had the ride of my life. To go from Dante's vision of Hell with swirling orange dust and rows of lorries to what can only be descrined the Garden of Eden with hypnotic smells of spices and Eucaluptus, has been sublime.
It was an unbelievable ride deep into India's rural heart. It's hard to believe that rural country can be vibrant, but here it so is.Children run out onto the roadside to high five the spaceman bikers as they travel along at 40k, and it hurts! As soon as you stop to take a photo or a drink ( 3litres of water a day!) enchanting locals gather around to stare and ask what we are doing, and where are we from, and are in awe of digital cameras. It's so humbling.
After a day surrounded by all things beautiful, we hit the town of Shimogo, a chaotic town where few Indians go, let alone Westerners. You hit the town running with buses the bloody tuk tuks, pigs, cows, and anything that can move, just does, everywhere. The smell of pollution and petrol is stifling, but you can't help but smile because everyone is so happy with it. It's a fascinating place, and it has provided me with a nice turquoise cushion for Harry to help the bruised bum, but it will be nice to be back in the mountains of Karnataka tomorrow.
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250km from Polem to Karnataka

After a very restless nights sleep due to lack of alcohol, a bed that bagel would turn his nose up at, and constant noise from horns, cockerels, monkeys and kids, it was an early 6am start today. I almost couldn't do this stage because in the night someone stole my boots and bike trousers! So I had to borrow hand me down boots (size 13) and wear shorts until I could find some trousers.
It has been so demanding today that I am exhausted. We went through another dusty lorry train today filtering through hundred of trucks driving randomly. One leader gave up counting after 850 lorries..... Its bazaar. After ducking and diving with lorries we headed off road into the mountains. It was too long a route today to take time to appreciate because we had to be back before dark. The drivers here can't even see you in the day time! Arrived in Murudeshwar at6pm walking like John Wayne and in search of lots of cushions, to a hotel with mattresses and hot running water......and no alcohol! - must go on a mission.
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The Rally Begins

Oh my GOD! What a day. It didn't start off too well, what with me ripping todays map up thinking it was yesterdays, and then locking myself out of my room only to be totally rejected by what I thought was my new metal mate! I thought I would be kind and top her up with fuel first thing, and the thanks I got was she hurled me off onto the garage forecourt like a swatted fly just for trying to kick start her in gear. I pretended the whole thing didn't happen, after all only 30 fellow bikers witnessed me lying on the floor with her between my legs. After making up we headed onto the lorry highway. The longest covoy of lorries travelling in both directions, on an orange dusty road, you could ever see. A horrible dirty dangerous and noisy 10 mile ordeal never to be repeated. However, no pain no gain as they say, because this treachourous route eventually lead us to the most idillic lush countryside full of rice fields, palm trees and monkeys. Every village we drove through there would be lines of beautiful smiling children waving at us as if we were a royal cavalcade. These people live in mud hits but are so happy and so smartly dressed.
After 10 hours of biking and only 2 bikes written off, it was time to turn in to our destination for the evening........my beach hut.... with little or zero sanitation. Waste pipes held together with hair, and no water to wash in. However the sea is a wonderful substitute, I just forgot my hair gel! Sleeping on the beach tonight as the bed looks extremely dodgy, eventhough it does have a very stylish pink mosquito net and lime green brushed nylon sheets.
6 am start tomorrow but it promises to be beath taking. Time for a beer!
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Day one

No embarassing moments during the night after the curries, from any parties I'm pleased to say. Just as well because if I did have to get up in the dark of the night to head to the bathroom, it could have been quite a spectacle given the number of exposed wires hanging above the toilet!
At 8am this morning I have to say that the Royal Enfield Bullet and I didn't hit it off from the moment we were introduced. This dusty battered machine that was designed in the 1950's with a padded bench seat didn't look like it was build with me in mind, and obviously wasn't. The very term kick starting must have been derived from a frustrated biker like me who after the 6th attempt at starting it, did actually kick the machine after it morphed me into Basil Fawlty as he beat his car with a stick. However once I turned the key in the ignition she started 1st time and began purring like a contented tiger.Of COURSE I wasn't embarassed!
It was now that we began our bonding process on a 50 km spin through the colourful and chaotic countryside surrounding Goa. As we weaved our way through sacred cows and not so sacred people trying to avoid cars tuk tuks and change gear on the wrong side,we tried to fathom out the rules of the road in India. There aren't any. The only rule my bike and I could work out is that size really does matter. This means that apart from a skateboard we are at the bottom of the pecking order when it comes to having any right of way on the roads. Strangely it works because everybody respects the size rule... and everybody is so happy. No road rage here just happy colourful chaos.
Tomorrow we will spend about 8 hours together as we head to our next destination which is too remote to get our bags to.

Smelly 24 hours ahead me thinks sleeping on the beach with my mean machine.... Time for another kingfisher beer they're only 60p each!

Arrival

After a very long journey I landed in Mumbai at miday ish. At first I thought there must have been an earhquake that I didn't know about. All I could see was what looked like buildings and rubble piled up on top of each other all around the airport, like the recent images from Haiti. As we almost touched them with our undercarriage I could see that this was the slums. Acres and acres of shanty town, housing thousands of families in buidings, held together with rope, plastic and corugated sheets. From here we were manically tranported across country for another 5 hours until we rerached our resting point for the night. The bike adventure begins tomorrow! In the last 32 hours I have had 4 lentil curries and am sharin a room with strangers..........
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Check in

Having arrived at Heathrow, met up with our team leader Jamie, who in between mouthfuls of kettle chips because he has driven down from West Yorkshire non stop with nowt to eat, has tried explaining how difficult it will be on day one with our bikes. Apparently as the gears and brakes are on the opposite side to the bikes we are used to in uk we will get very confused and frustrated with the machines and will want to kick them into the Ganges. He has assured us though that after day one we will learn to love them? Let's see about that. Last year he said one man did 3km and packed the whole thing in and went home!I have suggested Jamie eats the rest of his chili chips before he puts me off totally.Time to get a beer.
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India

Just having some quality time with my favorite people. I am enjoying good old rack of welsh lamb with ratatouille washed down with Gevrey Chambertin. Only hours left and I'm packed and ready to face the challenge.
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With only hours to go before I head off to face my Indian motorbike challenge, I am extremely excited although a little ill prepared for the trip; I am told that I need a major top up on my medical bag!

I would like to take this opportunity to give thanks to everybody who has supported me in the build up to this adventure of a lifetime. The support that I have received from local businesses and guests, friends and family has been overwhelming, and has helped me raise in excess of £6000 for the charities so far, with money still coming in.

While pursuing my challenge through India's rough terrain on a Royal Enfield, I will do my best to keep you all updated on my progress on a daily basis via a blog. Mobile network pending, you will be able to read all about my daily exploits by clicking on "Enduro India blog" on the top bar of the Captains Club web site.

So I bid you all farewell and I look forward to seeing you all on my return to the Club in February, but please don't laugh at the John Wayne walk.
Robert

Blog

Only 3 more sleep nights in my cosy bed before I hit the roads of India. I have been told that I need to do some major shopping in Boots before I go to top up my medical supplies. I will let you know how the Imodium and Beer diet works!

Blog

Watch this blog to find out the latest on my charity motorbike challenge through India.